The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. Well, not overnight, you cant see the sun at night. ", "Conservatives don't give a shit about you until you reach military age. 110. Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist. Here are some powerful quotes of pure humor and sparkling intellect to follow you through the day! Every now and then you find yourself in a different place. 10. Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things. ~ (George Carlin). 11. Some people see the glass half full, others see it half empty. Web390K subscribers in the quotes community. If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isnt the whole airplane made out of that stuff? They should be giving their money to you. ~ (George Carlin). Ice Cube added the brief caption, "Facts.". If youre born in America you get a front row seat. ~ (George Carlin). Im not sure silencing people or forcing them to alter their speech is the best method for solving problems that go much deeper than speech. Last Updated: 29th April, 2023 14:09 IST International Dance Day 2023: WhatsApp Messages, Wishes, Greetings, Quotes To Share Celebrate International Dance Day 2023 on April 29 by sending WhatsApp messages, wishes, greetings and quotes to those whose passion is dancing. 50. 12. Dont just teach your children to read. I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. Somebodys wasting their fucking time. Ice Cube visits the "Sway in the Morning" show with Sway Calloway on Shade 45 at SiriusXM Studios on December 07, 2018, in New York City. 77. I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. ~ (George Carlin). George Carlin Its never going to get any better, dont look for it. It will not be with jack-boots. If you have selfish ignorant citizens If you have selfish ignorant citizens, youre going to get selfish ignorant leaders. The only person who is with us our entire life is ourselves. Could it be everyone? And term-limits aint going to do you any good. Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. ~ (George Carlin). 81. The challenge is to find it. - George Carlin International Dance Day 2023: Wishes and Messages for the occasion I love individuals. So we are going to have to do lots of things different as a Black community," Ice Cube said in a video shared on Twitter on October 11. 37. I'm not sure that's the way to fight discrimination. Enjoy! One can never know for sure what a deserted area can look like. ", "The God excuse: the last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument. He was a true originala brash, intelligent, eloquent voice that cut to the quick. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit. ~ (George Carlin). TOP 25 QUOTES BY GEORGE CARLIN (of 976) | A-Z Quotes To me, authority is something that a freer spirit, a more independent mind, and a person who can handle the world, doesnt need guidance from. Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull sh*t they teach you in school. I think that speaks for itself. You know what they are? April 18, 2023, To Get Exclusive Deals, Latest Products, Free Articles & Libertarian News, 2023 Libertarian Country. Do these people honestly think that God is sitting around picking out his favorites? When you die, it all stays here. You show me a tropical fruit and Ill show you a cocksucker from Guatemala. ~ (George Carlin). If youre born in America you get a front row seat. 46. Ioanna Zafeiriou The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. ~ (George Carlin). WebHere are some of our favorite George Carlin quotes on politics. 104. Deal with it. Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Keep 'em showing up at those 'jobs. Nothing is mentioned, though, about cursing a lack of candles. ~ (George Carlin). Theres only the immediate future and the recent past. ~ (George Carlin). I dont get all choked up about yellow ribbons and American flags. They don't like him because the media and the academic elite have brainwashed them to the point where they cannot think beyond liberal orthodoxy.Carlin remarked that it was a terrible shame that liberals were leading the war against free speech. Web"The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept" - George Carlin Vote 3 comments Add a Comment Slartibartfast39 2 hr. WebThis video presents the 30 best quotes from the legendary comedian George Carlin. April 27, 2023, by Libertarian Country Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. ~ (George Carlin). 60. "Politicians are there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. You don't. Here are some of our favorite George Carlin quotes on politics. Enjoy! 10. In America, anyone can become president. Thats the problem. 11. I call him Governor Bush because thats the only political office hes ever held legally in this country. George Carlin was no stranger to controversy. Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. 34. "Everybody's been mad at me, cause I haven't been on the f**king, y'know, the gravy train of these candidates, especially Joe Biden and Harris. The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. ~ (George Carlin). 24. In his 50-year career as one of Americas most poignant and provocative social critics, the irreverent actor, author and comedian left no sacred cow unsinged as he took to lobbing one grenade after the next into the comfort zones of American life. I was a loner as a child. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. ~ (George Carlin). The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. WebThis is the best we can do folks. 20. So I don't trust none of them.". I on the other hand, who did not vote, WHO DID NOT VOTE. To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. 87. I just dont have as many people who believe it., "I'm completely in favor of the separation of church and state. The challenge is to find it. ~ (George Carlin). My first rule: I dont believe anything the government tells me. ~ (George Carlin). When you visit the site, Dotdash Meredith and its partners may store or retrieve information on your browser, mostly in the form of cookies. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure. 114. Carlin is a philosopherwho follows logicTo claim he is left or right is obtuse. Every day I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days Ive stayed alive. Thats the problem. ~ (George Carlin). Web421 quotes from George Carlin: 'The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. Oh Beautiful for smoggy skies, insecticided grain, For strip-mined mountains majesty above the asphalt plain. As he quite rightly points out, there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. Dont give your money to the church. And probably increase. ~ (George Carlin). As a lifelong stand-up comedian, Carlin had a lot of opportunities to speak his mindand religion and politics were two of his favorite subjects. Trump's latest attack addresses DeSantis' overseas trips to the U.K., Israel, Florida's Covid-19 record, and polling support for the 2024 Presidential race. 75. Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist. ~ (George Carlin). 70 Wise Quotes From George Carlin | Inspirationfeed Anthony Hopkins is a pantheist-Catholic-agnostic who believes strongly in God. 101. Rough, tough, and hard to bluff." Who would've ever thought radical feminists would team up with religious zealots to usher in a new wave of censorship and control?Oh, if Carlin was still alive today. Quotes Shares George Carlin Quote About Politicians ago Close joke from Blackadder that might predate this. In a world where we agree on so little, it is nice to have a voice from the past whose bias can not be defined as strictly partisan. An early crusader against academic fascism, George Carlin fought political correctness long before it took root, foreseeing its regressive tendencies and propensity to become neo-puritanism.For decades, progressives and liberals resonated with Carlin--they were his base. Ironic that political wings have come to fight over claiming Carlins humor for their own affiliations when his comedy career was a controversial compilation of his own bold assessments and ruthless truths that could offend anyone and everyone on a given topic with neither prejudice nor remorse. ", When we think of dictators, we think about other countries. People who say they dont care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they dont care what people think. ~ (George Carlin). Well, we know what they want: They want more for themselves and less for everybody else.". Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure. You have owners. ", "In America, anyone can become president. Maher is a liberal who has endorsed at least the last two Democratic presidential candidates. 71. Continue with Recommended Cookies. 107. 93. What you should tell them is, 'Maybe not. ", "Careful. Quotes, 60 Confidence Quotes to Help You Understand Your Self-Worth, Golfer Tattoos His Dads Advice on His Arm How Those Last Words Help Him Focus, Time Flies: 29 Couples and Families That Mastered the Art of Recreating Old Photos, This Couple Bought and Revamped an Abandoned Laundromat Now Its a Thriving Community Hub With Free Laundry Days, Woman Buys 3-Year-Old a New Bike After She Finds Out His Was Stolen Only Later Does Everyone Find Out Her Real Story. 63. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. This is the best we can do folks. These bright quotes will inspire you to not to take things so seriously in life! 45. 33. They've got you by the balls. April 20, 2023, by Libertarian Country How are YOU going to tackle today? First Words (@unscriptedmike) May 18, 2022, George Carlin said "When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. The people are fucked. The Grammy-Award-winning star of 14 stand-up comedy specials on HBO, George Carlin was widely considered one of Americans most influential comedians. Im completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. And why would it be America out of all the countries? They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience. ~ (George Carlin). I have as much authority as the Pope. Soon enough youll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family. ", "If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're going to haveselfish, ignorant leaders. 6. Fascism won it. "Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. ~ (George Carlin). Read these quotes to gracefully enhance your views about it and make you reflect upon the essence of human spirituality! The owners of this country know the truth: Its called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers. Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough not to quit. Former U.S. representative wonders: Can you keep an (Anthony) Weiner down? 119. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? Right in the fucking head. Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesnt mean the circus has left town. Best George Carlin Quotes. The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. This is the best we can do folks. 83. We invite you and ask you to help us update this wiki by editing it. It presents itself as fairness, yet attempts to restrict and control peoples language with strict codes and rigid rules. Just a friendly reminder that George Carlin would despise and verbally disembowel the vast majority of pundits, public figures, and random idiots currently heaping praise on him because it's trendy. You wouldn't say I'm proud to be 5'11"; I'm proud to have a pre-disposition for colon cancer., "Here's a bumper sticker I'd like to see.We are the proud parents of a child who has resisted his teachers' attempts to break his spirit and bend him to the will of his corporate masters. Thats the problem. Now theres one thing you might have noticed i dont complain about: politicians. There are three kinds of people: those who can count, and those who cannot. ~ (George Carlin). 98. "I don't know if we could count on any parties to get us out this s**t, to be honest. SCOTUS Now Just Another Congressional Committee, Trump Ramps up Attacks on DeSantis: 'Dropping Like a Rock', Russian Strikes on Pavlohrad Aim to Hamper Ukraine's Counteroffensive, Greg Abbott Criticized for Response to Texas Shooting: 'A New Low', Democrat Sold First Republic Stock, Bought JP Morgan Before Collapse, Conservative Influencers Struggle With Countering Biden's Messaging. Someone outside the circle, looking in. What kind of pro-life is that? They own and control the corporations. ", "Never underestimate the power ofstupid people in large groups. everybody complains about politicians. 135 Notable Oscar Wilde Quotes on Writing and Life, 105 Frederick Douglass Quotes on Progress & Freedom, 55 William Golding Quotes from Author of Lord of the Flies, 67 Salvador Dali Quotes From The Surreal Spanish Artist, 45 Tee Grizzley Quotes from the American Rapper, 32 Jean Toomer Quotes from American Poet & Novelist. Carlin certainly aimed to provoke, but its the why and how of it that made him so exceptional. George Carlin And far from staying to the safer path, he leapt time and again past the cliff of common wisdom, in the hopes of rattling us into questioning the way we live. 23. Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear themusic. Manage Settings Life is a series of dogs. ~ (George Carlin). George Carlin Quotes - BrainyQuote George Carlin quotes government sayings, in particular, are thought-provoking. He had a way of critiquing and making fun of the government without necessarily getting into trouble. This made him outstanding. Conservatives say if you dont give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. 120. Yeah the public sucks. Carlin passed away in 2008 of heart failure.With his sparkling intellect and caustic humour, George Carlin derided and criticized political, religious, cultural and taboo subjects. I just dont have as many people who believe it. "I'm completely in favor of the separation of https://t.co/Zz3gVH148b. Here is a selection of Carlins quotes that criticize the political system of our days. Carlin was at his best talking about America's broken political system, summing up the anger, resentment and frustration felt by much of the population who knew something was wrong but could not express it. Carlin did this better than anyone else. Why? 27. ", "Here's all you need to know about men and women. That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. Jesus, Gandhi, Lincoln, John Kennedy, Bobby Kennedy, Martin Luther King, Medgar Evers, Malcolm X, John Lennon, they all said, "Try to live together peacefully." It's our undeniably superior (almost god-like) intelligence that made life difficult for us when we were children. Religion is just mind control. ~ (George Carlin). How can He be perfect? It is easy to speculate that George Carlin would have been disgusted by the thought of being a political darling for any party, and especially by the thought of being partisan media clickbait. And America is not alone with this sort of delusions. Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? Carlin considered conservatives and Republicans the greedy, warmongering class in political ideologies. Its what our system produces: Garbage in. Others see it half empty. This is the kind of shit youd expect from an office temp with a bad attitude. But wheres the logic in that? This country was bought and sold and paid for a long time ago. Religion is like a pair of shoes. 74. 30 Best George Carlin Quotes - YouTube This is what we have to offer. ", "Don't just teach your children to readteach them to question what they read. 59. I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood. Then they think you are just fine, just what they've been looking for. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time. The government doesnt care about you, or your children, or your rights, or your welfare, or your safety. 69. The planet is fine. Hes not a cheese. Im not sure thats the way to fight discrimination. Carlin considered conservatives and Republicans the greedy, warmongering class in political ideologies. 21. His comedy and social critique will live on through the ages. For a man disappointed in all of humanity not sure he wanted to be claimed by either side. Im sure as soon as the election is over, your country will improve immediately. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me theyre cramming for their final exam. ~ (George Carlin). They've got the judges in their back pockets. Theres a humorous side to every situation. The planet is fine. I was thinking about how people seem to read the bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on metheyre cramming for their final exam. Deal with it. ~ (George Carlin). 'Cause pretty soon they have little hats. Laughuntil you gasp for breath., I have as much authority as the Pope. ", "I'm pretty sick of church people. If you vote and you elect dishonest, incompetent people into office who screw everything up, you are responsible for what they have done. Theyre all in favour of the unborn. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure. ~ (George Carlin). I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. 18. Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. It will not be with jack-boots. Perhaps those who can really claim him as one of their own are the commoners, we the people, caught in the chaos. Goalcast inspires the world through stories. It will not be with jack-boots. George Carlin 11. I respect animals. 72. Im happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in. ~ (George Carlin). There are no innocent human beings. ~ (George Carlin). Laugh often, long and loud. George Carlin The more we pointed out the foolishness of our "superiors," the more they kept us down. They made questioners out of us and they really didnt have any answers. And a Unfortunately, many progressives and today's so-called "social justice warriors" have reduced Carlin to an "antiquated, patriarchal white male oppressor. Thats the only thing keeping it and expanding it wherever possible. Lee did not involve himself formally in politics, but he was a symbol of diversity and the synthesis of "East" and "West." Weve learned how to make a living but not a life. Stop to think who it is we kill? I know, they say, they say: well if you dont vote you have no right to complain. I call him Governor Bush because thats the only political office hes ever held legally in this country. Teach them to question everything. The legendary George Carlin reminded us to think deeply but to make sure we take time to laugh and never take ourselves too seriously. Life is not measured by the breathes you take, but by the moments that take your breath away. Thats the problem. I think people should be allowed to do what they want. FUCK THEM. An outsider: someone not part of the group. These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. Political correctness is fascism pretending to be manners. 31. But once you're born, you're on your own. Others see it half empty. Theres a humorous side to every situation. 51. Lean and mean! Here's one for the ladies, "Nary-A-Carry"! It's so obvious that it almost goes without saying, but comedians are generally more intelligent and sensitive than the average person. They brought a new era to the world [], An outstanding jurist and the second woman ever appointed to the U.S. Supreme Court, Ruth Bader Ginsburg trail blazed through [], When trying to write about Ariana Grande, one word comes directly to the mind and sums up everything: phenomenon. However, Ice Cube has endorsed neither Trump nor his Democratic rival, former Vice President Joe Biden. Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? BAM! Both the Left and the Right have been known to use his insights to demonstrate their own points. It can help you a lot. Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. Tax them. Heres all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. For Exclusive Deals, New Product Alerts, Free Articles, Libertarian News & More! Find one that fits for you, but dont make me wear your shoes. ~ (George Carlin). Maybe this time it'll work. Some people see things that are and ask, Why? The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions. ~ (George Carlin). This is what we have to offer. If he were working today theyd call him a right-wing conspiracy theorist. 117. It was hard to lump Carlin into any political demographic. Weve added years to life, not life to years. 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I had an imaginary friend I didnt bother with him. ~ (George Carlin). They don't like women. 35+ George Carlin Quotes To Make 41. 8. When you are born in America, you get a front row seat. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? And although I broke a lot of laws as a teenager, I straightened out immediately upon turning eighteen, when I realized the state had a legal right to execute me. ~ (George Carlin). Some people dream of things that never were, and ask, why not? How come when its us, its an abortion, and when its a chicken, its an omelette? ~ (George Carlin). He was a spiritual atheist as an adult. 1. And in 2017,Rolling Stone magazine ranked Carlin second on its list of the 50 Best Stand-Up Comics of All Time, just behind Richard Pryor. Why would he do that? 111. When society, government and organized religion showed their ugly sides, the iconic Carlin fearlessly jumped on stage to challenge their hypocrisy and corruption.Carlin's comedy wasn't just funny; it was a deep dive into human psychology and social criticism. Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. The main reason Santa is so jolly is that he knows where all the bad girls live. 91. Tweet. According to Carlin, religion is one of humanitys greatest swindles and created nothing but lies, conflict, and suffering. Yes, it's the only way I can be sure of intelligent conversation." Teach them to question everything. 3. It will be a lot of fun. The new kid in a high school with a thousand other teenagers. Daniel Kurtzman is a political journalist turned satirist. As for the poor, they tell us theyve They've long since bought and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the statehouses, the city halls. America prays for God to destroy our enemies. I think its the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately. ~ (George Carlin). Several reasons. If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders. People are wonderful. Garbage out. Some national parks have long waiting lists for. If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it? The upper class keeps all of the money, pays none of the taxes. Now it's the zombie liberal.They say politics makes strange bedfellows--because today, the first amendment is under attack from people on the right and the left. 22. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions. The status quo sucks. ~ (George Carlin). Tell people theres an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. And apparently Im not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions. ~ (George Carlin). Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. ~ (George Carlin). 96. 11 Profound Quotes on Politics by George Carlin George Carlin was born and raised in Manhattan, New York in 1937 and died in Santa Monica, California in 2008. The following statement is true. Im completely in favour of the separation of Church and State. Deal with it. My first rule: I dont believe anything the government tells me. Its so f***ing heroic. Isnt it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice? ~ (George Carlin). The future will soon be a thing of the past. ~ (George Carlin). If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. I consider them to be symbols and I leave symbols to the symbol minded. ~ (George Carlin). Thats the problem. After that, they don't want to know about you. On the face of it, one could say that he was an exceptional sociocultural critic who left a lasting mark in modern society through his witty reflections and incredibly entertaining sharp statements. Apparently, we're not ready for that., "The very existence of flamethrowers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, 'You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done. No contest. ", "The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post 'Thou shalt not steal,' 'Thou shalt not commit adultery,' and 'Thou shalt not lie' in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. 78. There will be a rain dance Friday night, weather permitting! ~ (George Carlin). 29. It creates a hostile work environment. When you step on the brakes, your life is in your foots hands. Something is definitely wrong. Two reasons. I dont vote. Soon enough youll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family. ~ (George Carlin). What's the fucking mystery? If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else.